Why I haven't written a book (yet!)

and join me at Sussex Prairie Garden next Thursday 1 August.

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Hello and welcome! I am Mel Parks and I run creative writing workshops in Sussex, UK as well as online. I began this Substack, Awen, in 2022 as a gathering place for my thoughts about the writing process and to share some stories and creative inspiration along the way. Awen is free to read and share.

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Dear all

Before I begin, if you have been meaning to book onto my nature-writing day at Sussex Prairie Garden (near Henfield, just outside Brighton) next Thursday, now is the time!

Click here to book a place on The Japanese Way of Nature Writing: A nature-based creative writing workshop with me!

So, why, if I have been writing for so long and I am totally invested in encouraging others to do so, haven’t I written my own book yet?

I began this Substack newsletter in June 2022 with the aim of writing a book. I would write short pieces, observe the themes and compile into a book. In January this year, I counted that I’d written 70k words and I planned to take a break from Substack to make these words into a book. I did get as far as printing them out. But then, with the end of funding for my Moonpause project, I got caught up with making this work that I do financially sustainable.

And here’s the thing. For me, money often gets in the way.

But before I get into it, I want to say that for all of my reasons for why I haven’t written a book, I can give you examples of people that have written and published despite the odds. There are many ways of publishing now and I am delighted to have found Substack because this gives me a free way of writing and publishing in small, manageable amounts and the possibility of earning a small amount of money along the way. It also makes it easy for people to respond to what I write, which is a huge boost and keeps me going!

So here are my reasons, some of which are systemic and are important to share:

1. Money

   I come from a Welsh working class background. I lived in a council flat with a dad who spent much of my childhood on the dole and left when I was 9. My mum worked hard in a series of jobs to change our situation and settled in a steady 9 to 5. This was the way I felt it had to be. Writing books was for people who had plenty of time on their hands and not for people like us.

2. Money

   I didn’t begin to write creatively until just before I had my first baby (20 years ago). Until this point, I’d spent years writing for work and I only took a creative writing class to open up my copywriting and help my magazine feature writing. This means it never occurred to me to think about writing a book and by the time I did think about it, I had small children and a freelance writing and editing business. During the limited amount of time I had to myself, I needed to prioritise writing for work and money. During this time, I kept writing creatively, started a writing group locally and did National Novel Writing Month each year.

3. Money

   I thought it might be easier if I had a part-time job, so that the earning money part of my time could be contained. So I began work as a web editor at a local authority (this job has meant that I do all of my website work myself and for a time, extended my freelance services) and gave myself the goal of writing a novel by the time I was 40. I did not finish the novel. I mean, having a part-time job and children is enough. Surely. But then I began to do freelance work on the weekend to build things up again, so I could leave the part-time job. It was clearly getting in the way of my creativity and stopping me writing my book.

4. Money

   So once I left my part-time job (2014), I wanted to make creativity more central to my life and work so I started up a creative writing after school club. The kids were excited that I was a real writer and I would talk to them about my process of writing a novel, which I was still working on at this point. I had so much fun doing this that a couple of years later, I began running adult workshops. But I still hadn’t written a book. You see, running creative writing workshops plus freelance copywriting and editing plus mothering was all a lot.

5. Money

   Now I realise I am getting a bit hung up on money. My neighbour over the fence at this time told me it was all energy: it comes and it goes. I knew it was becoming a problem when I grilled a celebrity poet over lunch at an event. He walked in wearing a self-branded jacket which I had a visceral reaction to, then he told me he’d spent the summer walking around Wales and was now spending every morning until 1pm in the library writing a book about his experience. I asked him exactly how he could afford to do this. Then went over and over that regrettable conversation in my mind afterwards.

6. I did not know how

   There is so much information available online now about how to write a book. But I wanted a short cut. I wanted to just get on and get it done as they promise you can do in National Novel Writing Month. Following my conversation with the celebrity poet, I did a pivotal workshop with Monica Suswin. She suggested that I write a letter to money. In it, I realised there were two things I would do if I had more money: An MA in Creative Writing and take my family to Japan. I then managed both of these in 2016.

7. Fear

   Before I did the MA, I applied for a Curtis Brown bursary scheme for Welsh writers to do their novel writing course. I did not get that award. I was devastated. I really thought it was in the bag. I was Welsh and a writer after all. I told myself I was definitely not going to stop working on my novel if I didn’t get it. But the fear of rejection ran deep. I stopped working on my novel. I think that might have been the point I stopped working on any novel! During my MA, I wrote autoethnography exploring the publishing business, rejection as well as mothering and creativity. This all really helped shape my confidence and direction in the work I do now.

8. Money

   Despite earning back MA course fees and more in research assistant work following my MA, I found that I was too busy on other people’s projects to work on my own book. Though all of these projects were valuable for me in many ways and I definitely felt encouraged in my creative and academic work and published articles as a result, when they ended, I wasn’t sure what to do next. Thankfully, my Moonpause project was well-timed and filled that gap. I created this project with the aim of writing a book, but I knew it would be a longer project than the funding allowed for. I just didn’t have a plan for how to continue. And here we are. After talking to many people this year, my plan for what’s next is this: more creative writing workshops including ones for paid subscribers of Awen alongside one-to-one support for writers working on books and longer projects. I also plan to produce publications and short courses on different aspects of the creative process.

While I have plans for books eventually, I am really happy to take my time with that and to write smaller essays, articles and ebooks exploring my many interests and ideas along the way.

And you may be pleased to know that I am also reading books on money mindset as part of my reimagining of the second half of my life. Apparently, Margaret Atwood swears by The Gift by Lewis Hyde, so I’ll be delving deeper into this and other ideas in the coming months.

Also, this book: Silences by Tillie Olsen was empowering for me. It shows the way people disadvantaged by race, gender or class have been suppressed in literature over the years. Since that book was published, our understanding has further deepened, but it was still helpful for me to acknowledge the inequality as well as my current privilege.

In this newsletter, I was planning to move onto other book projects I’ve worked on (even if not directly written), but I think it’s long enough for now :)

So what’s your reason for not having written a book? Or not having written the book you really dream of writing?

I’d love to know. Feel free to reply to this email or leave a comment below.

Creative Writing Workshops with me (Mel Parks)

Haiku to Haibun: The Japanese Way of Nature Writing

A nature-based creative writing workshop at Sussex Prairie Garden (in-person) on 1 August 2024. 10-1.30pm.

Book a place by clicking this link.

Tuesday afternoons on Zoom (2-3pm UK time)

£8 per month or £80 per year with a paid Awen Substack subscription.

NEXT SESSION: New season begins on 10 September.

You can come to as many as you are able to. 

If you are not able to subscribe (or don’t want to!), then please email me for alternative ways to join.

Becoming a Writer
Monthly Tuesday evenings in East Grinstead (7-9pm)

A monthly creative writing workshop for beginners. Plenty of fun writing prompts, games and activities to get your creative juices flowing.

10 September

8 October

12 November

The Writer’s Notebook
Thursday mornings in East Grinstead (10-12noon)

Series of five weeks beginning on 19 September (19 Sept; 26 Sept; 3 Oct; 10 Oct; 17 Oct)

If you attend my face-to-face groups regularly, you can also attend the Zoom group for no extra charge. 

Until next time…

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This newsletter was created by Mel Parks, a writer, researcher and workshop facilitator based in Sussex, UK. Mel runs writing workshops locally and on Zoom and researches creativity in midlife as well as her personal connection to nature. She has been widely published and is currently working on a series of moon and plant-inspired essays.

It is free to read and share, but if you value my work, please do stop by my virtual honesty box and leave a handful of loose change.

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