This week, I’ve been dipping in and out of books on poetry therapy, as well as women’s autobiographical writing. Last weekend, I seriously considered training as a poetry therapist! The temptation to adopt a label and ready-made way of working was high, until I reminded myself that I have for the past eight years been developing my own ways of working. I am continually researching and thinking deeply about my practice, whether that’s writing alone or facilitating exercises for other people. I am not a therapist (as I remind people at the start of each workshop!) but wellbeing is embedded into the intentions behind my own writing as well as The Writer’s Notebook workshops. My challenge is to articulate this in a way that makes sense to me as well as to other people. Labels can be helpful in this process, but also limiting. So while I figure this out, I’ll continue to write about it!
One of the first things I did when I discovered Julia Cameron’s book, The Right to Write, was make lists. At the beginning of August 2004, I was a couple of weeks away from giving birth. There were builders in my house, making a conservatory, and I was hiding in the baby’s room with a notebook propped against my pregnant belly not offering them cups of tea. I wrote lists of things I wished for and things I was proud of. I wrote numbers down the side of the page, up to 100, and wrote what came to mind, without thinking too deeply. I allowed myself to repeat and later, I realised that repetition showed the importance or resistance of a topic. It’s been interesting to compare similar lists across the years.
Lists are brilliant for: getting going when stuck, finding new direction in a piece of work, journaling and self-development, creative exploration of an idea. Lists can also be a literary form in themselves, and are sometimes called list poems. For example, I Remember by Joe Brainard.
The art of writing lists has a long tradition. Sei Shonagon wrote lists daily in her pillow book, as lady in waiting to Empress Sadako in Japan between the years 994 and 1001.
Here is an extract:
26. Things that make your heart beat fast
A sparrow with nestlings.
Going past a place where tiny children are playing.
Lighting some fine incense and then lying down alone to sleep.
Looking into a Chinese mirror that’s a little clouded.
A fine gentleman pulls up in his carriage and sends in some request.
To wash your hair, apply your makeup and put on clothes that are well-scented with incense. Even if you’re somewhere where no one special will see you, you still feel a heady sense of pleasure inside.
On a night when you’re waiting for someone to come, there’s a sudden gust of rain and something rattles in the wind, making your heart suddenly beat faster.
64. Surprising and Distressing Things
While one is cleaning a decorative comb, something catches in the teeth and the comb breaks.
A carriage overturns. One would have imagined that such a solid, bulky object would remain forever on its wheels. It all seems like a dream -- astonishing and senseless.
A child or grown-up blurts out something that is bound to make people uncomfortable.
All night long one has been waiting for a man who one thought was sure to arrive. At dawn, just when one has forgotten about him for a moment and dozed off, a crow caws loudly. One wakes up with a start and sees that it is daytime -- most astonishing.
One of the bowmen in an archery contest stands trembling for a long time before shooting; when finally he does release his arrow, it goes in the wrong direction.
And Marion Milner (thanks, Christine Hollywood for the recommendation), who was exploring diary writing and therapy, published these lists in 1934 as part of her book, A Life of One’s Own:
Things I hate
Things that are meaningless and full of detail.
Suburban roads and houses.
Lace curtains.
Being ignored.
Fussy dresses.
Making a fool of myself.
Being laughed at.
Being in disagreement with people.
Being disapproved of.
Glaring lights, unshaded.
Being copied in my attempts to be original.
Being made to feel conspicuous.
Old society ladies.
Frittering time on household necessities especially when it's fine.
Spending a lot of money on something I don't like.
Being cold, having wet feet.
Being conspicuous, having arguments in public places or being unsuitably dressed.
Having my taste or actions criticized. Quarrels between my friends.
People taking it for granted that they can share my things.
Being made use of.
Earnest, dowdy or arty women.
Pompous men.
Velvet and plush chairs.
The suggestion or feeling that you are dominated by anyone.
Hearing about the good times anyone is having if you consider those people your equals or inferiors in general.
Things I love
Flowers, light and colours.
The patience of cart-horses.
The abandon and moods of dogs.
Sharing an idea in conversation when minds move together.
Bodily sensations, hot sun, wind, rhythm, relaxation after exercise, water and fire.
The sense of strangers’ moods arising from a glimpse of their faces and attitudes.
Confidences from people – strangers or friends.
Companionably sharing things, forestalling someone's need.
Getting at what someone is driving at in a play or picture.
Fairs, loitering in a crowd.
Beginning nice things.
Old implements.
Traditional knowledge for tilling the soil, seamanship and crafts: as opposed to efficiency methods.
Intricate mechanisms that are not man made.
Freedom from possessions.
Buying things.
Good food.
Laughing.
Hands and human skin.
Attraction towards a person.
A new idea when first it is grasped.
People singing out of doors.
Clean clothes.
And here are my lists:
Things that feel therapeutic about writing alone
Capturing memories on the page, remembering details you thought you’d forgotten.
Taking the time to find just the right word or way of saying something that would have escaped you if you had tried to say it out loud.
Noticing, then recording sensory details. Being in the moment to really see, smell, hear, touch, taste.
The unexpected connections that happen when writing. One thing leading to another. Being open to the magic.
Showing how it feels to be you.
Being able to take emotionally powerful memories and take away their power by turning them into a story.
The physical rhythmic act of moving a pen across a page.
Knowing that everything you experience can be written later. Finding meaning in those experiences.
Keeping a record to help self-understanding.
The fun, enjoyment and sheer pleasure of creative ideas and play with words and language. Losing yourself in your own imagination.
Things that feel therapeutic about writing in groups
Sharing what you see or think. Having others validate and deepen your thoughts and experiences.
The magic, creative, powerful energy in the room.
Fun and laughter as we play and try new things together. Always.
Feeling heard. And in that moment, discovering your voice, your story, your take on the world.
One story, memory or moment shared sparks another in you.
Connecting with an object, photograph, piece of music or a line in a poem that inspires you to make your own.
Writing something surprising. That you would never have thought of otherwise.
Being taken on a journey in your thoughts.
Writing something pleasing. You can’t believe the words you’ve just written in ten minutes are your own.
Writing prompt
You know what’s coming! Write a list. Make up your own heading or feel free to add to mine, as I’d love to gather thoughts on how people feel about the writing process.
Write the numbers down the side of the page before you begin (or set yourself a number) - 10, 30 or 100 are good places to start. Then, to reach your number target, you end up digging deeper. You also know where to stop. Feel free also to ignore the numbering!
Write the list in one sitting, write what comes to mind and don’t worry about repeating.
If you’d like to share it wider or create a list poem - once you’ve written your initial list, look for unifying themes, underline phrases you particularly like. Be specific in the details, so you’re creating images. And edit out superfluous words. Then write out on a fresh page.
Further reading
Adams, Kathleen (1990) Journal to the Self: Twenty-Two Paths To Personal Growth, Warner Books.
Cameron, Julia (2017) The Right to Write: An Invitation and Initiation into the Writing Life, Hay House UK.
First published in 1998.
Milner, Marion (2011) A Life of One’s Own, Taylor and Francis. Available at: https://www.perlego.com/book/1609994/a-life-of-ones-own-pdf (Accessed: 29 July 2022).
First published in 1934.
Shonagon, Sei (2006) The Pillow Book, Penguin Classics.
Based on observations made at court in the 10th century.
As usual, I love reading the responses to my newsletters, so please leave a comment or reply to this email with your own lists or responses to my lists.
Until next time…
Mel