Dear all
After a week away, it’s not been easy to get back into things. I read through the essay I began before my break and then deleted half of it. The following day, during a Zoom session with my writing friend, I wrote a very rough 300 words. I was feeling sluggish. My back was aching (I pulled a muscle while doing the washing up after carrying heavy bags on the weekend) and I had a pain in my hand which meant it hurt to write with a biro. Despite all of that, yesterday evening, I decided that after sitting down all day at my desk, I would honour the commitment I had made to myself to join the womxn’s group at my local bouldering gym.
I am 14 years old and on a Guides adventure weekend. I am halfway up a cliff on ropes and frozen. My fingers are numb, the wind is blowing my hair into my face and the rain is making it stay there. I need to move my hand and I don’t know where to. I can no longer feel the rock. I do not trust the ropes to keep me safe. I am scared and I tell myself that once this is over, I can choose. I never have to do rock climbing ever again.
And I never did. This was something other people did and more fool them, I thought. Until a rainy January afternoon earlier this year, when I was thinking of ideas to get me and my 15 year old out of the house. I knew H wouldn’t go swimming and I knew they loved climbing trees so I suggested climbing, not thinking the answer would be ‘yes’. I mean, I couldn’t even understand the website and it was a ridiculous thought. It was just one of those ideas I throw around now and then. And there isn’t a big choice of indoor activities around here. But H was up for it and said I should do it too and not just watch.
I had no idea that you could just show up and give it a go. Indoor bouldering gyms have shorter walls than walls for climbing with ropes and there are soft mats for landing on if you fall. All the holds are colour coded and routes are marked depending on difficulty, so you can see where to start. After a safety briefing session, we were off and we have been back every week since. It has been an amazing thing for us to do together, and I have enjoyed witnessing H’s interest deepen and their confidence grow. It has also got us outdoors more, with an overnight hike to local sandstone, Harrison’s Rocks and in our week away, we bouldered at Rotherslade on the Gower peninsular.
I was scared of so many things. Scared of the tide coming in, of me falling, of H falling, of not being able to get back to the beach where we had left my mum, of carrying all the things we needed…but I also knew the risks I took were managed. We checked the tide times, we hired a bouldering safety mat, we had a phone and we weren’t far away from the main beach. Also, I had scrambled over rocks like that many times as a child. The difference is that with bouldering, you give yourself specific routes to climb, and there is a special guidebook in which all of these are graded according to difficulty. Despite being scared, we encouraged each other and I was pleased with the climbing I did.
However, during all of this time, I was wondering about how into climbing I really was. Was I going along with it for H? Was that enough? I love the world around climbing - the connection with nature and the people I’ve met have been so welcoming, inclusive and friendly. But it’s all so much effort! I am not a natural exerciser and when H turns 16 in a couple of months, they can officially climb on their own without my supervision and so I wondered, would I carry on? Or would I default to the café with a nice cup of tea and a book?
H suggested I test out how much I enjoyed it by joining the womxn’s group. And so I showed up last night. I learned a couple of new techniques, I tried problems I wouldn’t have gone near before and I got to the top of a route I had tried before and only got halfway up. This morning, the pain in my hand has gone and my back feels stretched but not any worse. I am so proud of myself for doing this and with the encouragement of the group and teaching from the coach, I feel so much more motivated in my own climbing. I want to go back and practice what I’ve learned. I want to watch YouTube videos on the specific technique I was taught. This is now for myself rather than just being there for H. I feel stronger and more energised in my practice.
And it got me thinking about the power of groups. You can see where this is going…! It is so useful for me to remember what it is like to be a beginner, for me to experience how it feels to be taught tips and tricks that make a huge difference. How it feels to be scared, give it a go and do it anyway. People write differently when they know they will share it afterwards (like me climbing knowing someone is watching) - they write with more strength and power than they knew was possible. They also tell me that they value listening to other people’s experiences and stories as much as writing their own. This helps them feel connected. And I have plenty of tips, tricks and techniques to share from my years of writing experience. I try to tailor them to the individual as needed, which is why you won’t find me writing posts such as: 5 ways to knock out a bestselling novel!
Autumn Writing Workshops
If you are after the support of a group to write for accountability, to learn new things, or share stories and experiences, then try one of these for size. They are mostly in Sussex, but I have a Tuesday afternoon slot on Zoom as well.
The Writer’s Notebook - (Chequer Mead, East Grinstead) block of five weeks beginning on 21 September.
Mini Memoir course on creating characters - Zoom begins on 12 September.
The Friday Retreat on 29 September, near Barcombe, Sussex.
Journalling Group on 12 September (Chequer Mead, East Grinstead).
I’m experimenting with making writing prompts like these to share on social media. But it occurred to me I could share them here as well. Would you like these more often? Daily maybe? Let me know by replying to this email or in the comments below.
Virtual honesty box
Imagine this is a roadside honesty box where I share what I know how to do with you - open the wooden door and you’ll find little envelopes of techniques, prompts, reading suggestions, workshop ideas and creative inspiration. Next to these envelopes is a box where you can slip in some coins or if you’re feeling particularly generous, a £10 note or two!
I love to think of you reading, feeling inspired by and using what I've written but it does take time and for me to be able to continue, I am trying out ways to make it pay without adverts, paid subscriptions, memberships or paywalls. Instead, I'll continue to provide this content for free, with an invitation to you to donate to my honesty box if you can and would like to. Click on the link below to donate. Thank you!
Thank you for reading!
Until next time…
Mel
This newsletter was created by Mel Parks, a writer, researcher and workshop facilitator based in Sussex, UK. Mel runs writing workshops locally and on Zoom and researches creativity in midlife as well as her personal connection to nature. She has been widely published and is currently working on a series of moon and plant-inspired essays.