If you are new here, hello and welcome! I am Mel Parks and I have been running creative writing workshops in Sussex, UK for ten years while being a freelance writer, researcher and editor. I began this Substack, Awen, in 2022 as a gathering place for my thoughts about the writing process and to share some stories and creative inspiration along the way. Awen is free to read and share.
If you can’t join me in Sussex, I have a weekly guided creative writing Zoom hour on a Tuesday afternoon (2-3pm UK time; pay what you can).
Dear all
I’ve not been well. I have a condition that affects my sleep and quality of life and yet, mostly it feels too trivial to mention. At the same time, I think if I could just get my immune system to work better, it might go away. It’s been a problem for years. Rest is important. And yet. I have tried homeopathy, acupuncture, exercise, diet as well as medication. I have had a CT scan and I am waiting for a face-to-face appointment with a consultant to discuss surgery. The official diagnosis is: chronic obstructive rhinosinusitis with nasal polyps. Last week I caught a cold for the first time in a long time and my sinuses burned and throbbed.
I cancelled workshops for the first time ever (in 10 years) due to me not being well and I so badly wanted a rest. But my teenager’s school called and emailed and demanded meetings due to their persistent absence, which they have suddenly stopped authorising. And this felt so upsetting and personal. Did they not understand how much I needed a rest?
I cried on my way to the doctor and back to request a repeat prescription. Nothing was staying in my head, so I had to ask them more than once to tell me what to do exactly. The pharmacist said, oh I can see you’re struggling, which felt validating. And when I got home, I was hungry so decided to use up some of my amazing gourd harvest by making Hugh Fearnley Wittingstall’s Pumpkin Tea Bread.
I absorbed myself in what I was doing and my mood felt lighter. I then made a pie with the crown prince squash and chickpeas. This reminded me of the seven types of rest (physical, mental, emotional, social, sensory, creative, spiritual) outlined in the book Sacred Rest by Dr Saundra Dalton-Smith. And that we don’t just need more sleep to feel better. There are other things we can do too.
My CBT therapist spent time working with me earlier this year on asking for help and so I suddenly realised this was what I needed to do. I remembered a friend with 10 years experience in pastoral care at a secondary school. I did not want to bother her and take up her time, but I really needed someone knowledgeable and empathic to talk through the school issues I was having. So I messaged her and had a chat with her this week which helped so much. On her suggestion, I then turned to trusty writing and wrote out everything I wanted to say to school and emailed a five page document to them. This also helped as I was able to clarify my thoughts before the meeting.
I am currently working on this essay for my Moonpause project, which although it is about a different recent time, made me realise the issues are ongoing. It’s still a work in progress, but this is the start:
The Broken Bucket
In response to 74. Lady Chiyo and the water bucket from Yoshitoshi’s series of paintings entitled: 100 Aspects of the Moon (commenced in 1885).
I drink cacao in my summerhouse office on this cold day, which is being warmed by the sun. I want to drink it before it gets a skin on top because I didn’t bring a spoon. My sinuses are dreadful. I feel all inflamed and blocked. My face and forehead throbs and my eyes feel tired. I feel worn. I have been in to wake my teenager three times. He is not getting up.
I have drunk apple cider vinegar, green tea, hot water with lemon and honey, then topped up without the honey, and now cacao with almond milk. I have rinsed my nasal passages and eaten porridge with poppy seeds, flaxseed, raisins, peanut butter and almond milk. I work. I feel no better. The list gets longer. I am waxing, almost gibbous. I am continuing with the commitments I made to myself at new moon, last week. It is Monday. I feel like doing none of it. I keep going.
I imagine Lady Chiyo keeping on going when she drops her water bucket and the water from the well, hauled out on a rope, spills all over the ground. How long does she stare at the reflection before it soaks in? Becomes mud.
waxing gibbous moon
rises as I see Lady Chiyo
her water bucket broken
Someone tells me their family motto is: have patience and endure. I tell them that in my Welsh working class family, we have a motto with a similar sentiment: well, you’ve just got to get on with it, haven’t you? It makes me wonder about seeing poetry in the weeds that persist through the hopscotch lines of my patio paving slabs. It makes me wonder what Lady Chiyo saw in the water that night. Was it the moon or the dusky fruit?
crackthudslosh wood breaks
heavy arm hangs by her side
she stares at the puddle
The apples at night remind me of one of the times my teenager couldn’t sleep. The night was hot and it was hard to breathe. He’d been alone in the house and heard a noise. He couldn’t settle when we got back. We took a slow walk up the hill. As we put one step in front of another, he began to calm. It was a week before exam results. He hadn’t been to school for months. The exams had been cancelled because of the pandemic but he would get results based on work to date, which he hadn’t known would count. There was nothing he could do about this. Nothing he could have done differently. After, we sat in the garden for a while, hours. Talking. Apples thudded to the ground. I didn’t know what the sound was, to begin with. When I worked it out, it was no less startling. The quiet thud of fruit falling at night.
Shadows hesitate
in the silver blue moonlight
rippling on water
Writing Workshops
I have now got a break for a week for the school half term, and at the end of the week I’ll be going for my second Arts Council funded self-directed writing retreat, so hopefully, I will be back to my usual self after that. Ready for the next series of autumn workshops!
Here’s what’s coming up:
Zoom Group - Tuesday afternoons 2-3pm (UK time) 31 October to 12 December. Pay on a sliding scale or by donation. We have had people join from Spain, Dubai and the Scilly Isles as well as the UK. The first half an hour is usually a guided write with sharing, followed by a different prompt for the second half (maybe a picture or a poem). But you can ignore all of that if you’d just like some company to work on your own projects.
In Sussex
The Friday Retreat - 10 November - This is in a peaceful, rural location 15 minutes drive north of Lewes (nr Barcombe). We will connect with the season, and create a reflective, nurturing quiet space to relax and recharge at this busy time of the year.
It costs £85 for the day including a home-cooked Swedish inspired lunch with locally sourced ingredients.
Life Writing & Memoir Group - 31 October and 21 November. Chequer Mead Theatre, East Grinstead. In this supportive group, we look at life writing on the page as well as exercises and techniques to generate ideas. During the sessions coming up, I’ll be working on creating characters from people you’ve known in your life or people who were part of your family but you didn’t know (ancestors).
Journalling Group - 14 November. Chequer Mead Theatre, East Grinstead.
I use creative activities and traditional journalling techniques (dialogue, unsent letters, lists etc) for self-development and new insights. I share ways in which the techniques can be used at home for an ongoing practice.
Gift Vouchers. I offer gift vouchers which can be used against any of my workshops or day retreats.
Feel free to reply to this email with any questions. Give yourself some creative rest during this busy season!
Hopefully, I’ll see you soon!
Warm wishes
Mel
This newsletter was created by Mel Parks, a writer, researcher and workshop facilitator based in Sussex, UK. Mel runs writing workshops locally and on Zoom and researches creativity in midlife as well as her personal connection to nature. She has been widely published and is currently working on a series of moon and plant-inspired essays.